Sorry for checking out. But I'm back.

The past few weeks have been slightly cacoonish for me. I've stopped my social life almost completely, only talking to a few people a few days. Over the past few days, I think I've come out of it. Two days ago I was on a face time with my mom (who is my best friend) and one of my buddies from Tampa. It was nice to talk to a real PERSON. And yesterday, I went out with my friends! They are ALL older but kids my age aren't exactly preferable at this very moment. The immaturity is irritating, but the think that really sets me off is the attention seeking. I know I do this a little. But never as bad as some of the kids I know. They say the most irritating things. My life at school has gotten a little better, but really I think I'm just numbing myself because the life is just too much. Honestly, I'm not ready to come out of this cacoon. I like it in here. The world moves so slowly, every conversation I have means a little more. I wish I could say some super deep thing here. But honestly, I kinda miss people. I wish I could move and meet an all new group of people. And the cool thing is, I'm doing just that! Next year, my school transfers me to a different campus along with the rest of my eighth grade class. The one at the campus now is too ridiculous. But the class at this new school is my people! They're ever so mildly stuck up, but that's a given at the fancy school I'm at. Back to my caccoon, I feel as if I'm distancing myself from everybody. Some people don't make the cut, and few do. I wonder who will soon appear in my life. Because i have a feeling someone new is on the way. Anyway, I have some homework. I was just checking in.
Sweet days and eventful nights to you all

Stoicism

I do not feel the need to survive.

This thought seems darker then it is. There is no need to worry. I am nowhere near hurting myself or others. This is simply my faith. I believe that there is a higher power deciding how our lives play out. 
What lessons we learn, how we learn them. This is the Ancient Greek House of philosophy of Stoicism. A complete and total faith in god. Stoics believe that the realization that everything happens for a reason and is predetermined, and that this belief will rid them of anxiety and general freaking out that plague western society. 

Thoughts.

There are 5 types of thoughts to my mind. There are:

Raw 

Boiled 

Cooked 

Tempura 

Dirty

I use the food method of grouping because it makes sense.

Raw Thoughts: These thoughts are the thoughts you read on my blog. They are spur of the moment thoughts that come from the heart, filled with the meaning you give to them. They are vital to our survival.
Ego Rating: 0-1

Boiled Thoughts: Thoughts that are in between Raw and Cooked, minor change but still majorly the same
Ego Rating: 2-4

Cooked Thoughts: These thoughts are the thoughts you somewhat think of but that are influenced by the media portrayal of what is cool. There is minor meaning to these thoughts, they are important.
Ego Rating: 3-6

Tempura Thoughts: Artificial thoughts inserted into our consciousnesses by media portrayal of what is socially acceptable. Most often the cause of social downfall or rise.
Ego Rating: 6-10

Dirty thoughts: Thoughts that are so disgusting they simply fill you with revulsion for yourself. Never a good thing.
Ego Rating: 10

Them Or Me?

I went on a school trip over friday night. I have to say, I have a whole new painful perspective about my social solitude. I am just beginning to think that maybe this is partly my fault. I think I should maybe make an effort to branch out. I have this feeling that it would take me away from my current social group. Which isn't making me happy either. Either way, its a bargain. But wait. Maybe the answer is inside me? The cheesy line makes sense. I should try to better myself before I attempt to better the lives of others. Because really, making friends is helping other people to feel good around you and feeling good yourself.
I won't branch out just yet. But maybe I can do something. I should do something. I will do something. I really like the idea of meditating. But to put into practice is a difficult affair. For now, 10-20 minutes a day will be fine. The only problem is, it would take minor sacrifices, which is really annoying. To meditate in the morning would be sacrifice of about 12 minutes of sleep, and to do it before bed would be the sacrifice of 12 minutes of sleep. All in all, I'd lose about 30 minutes of sleep. Is it worth it to lose some sleeping time to better my waking hours? I'll see. Also, I really want to start working out, I found this app called MiCoach. Its an Adidas idea, and it seems to be good. The only problem is, I really don't want to work out. I want to look good. So I'm torturing myself to work out, and criticizing myself every time I step in front of a mirror. But the drive just isn't there. I'm going to try forcing myself to do it, and hopefully the results of a week or two will encourage me to keep doing it. I'm slightly doubtful, but whatever. I'll be fine.

Dont worry, be happy.

A Tidbit of Advice

The agressor is commonly believed to be the cause of the problem. However, contrary to subconscious popular belief, the pacifist who means well may be just as much as fault. However, ignorance is most often the root of the problem.
-Aly Lakhani

lalala

I am officially frustrated. I got all regular classes for 9th grade. Apparently my averages didn't meet the requirement.
This is not okay.
So what's my plan? I'm gonna study my butt off.
Now that that's settled. I've had these random blogging ideas. But I didn't seize any of them. I will soon. More later this week!

@lakhanialy1

and I'll follow back.