Well hello there

I'm glad you've found me! Welcome to my blog. I am an abnormal teen though you don"t see it at first. Strange once you do and funny if you know what to look for. I appreciate creepers like no other! Look around and get to know me a little bit :)

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

This is a poem by Bashyam Narayanan

Aim at perfection
But be satisfied with excellence

As absolute perfection is
We say in science
Absolute zero is unattainable

Perfection means zero defects
In the product or outcome
And it means zero deviation
In the process and systems employed

While excellence in performance is
Being ahead of most of others
With regard to process and
Quality of the product
And this is achievable

It is well known and established that
Imperfection and randomness
Are the essence of survival
And the nature has all its biodiversity
Because of imperfection and
Deviation from the norms

Insistence on perfection
May lead to failures
And likely win you more foes than friends

You may even leave a scar in the hearts of
Your own people and friends
If you zero in on perfection only

The fact remains
There is no perfected art
There is no perfected process
There is no perfected write
All await your touch
And improvement therefrom

You do not compromise either
As you will be struggling to
Excel all others

Target at the best
Arrive at the best possible

Bashyam Narayanan 

If we all were to live like this. It would be an excellent world.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Where am I?

I remember just 2 months ago I was in such a great place, all zen and smart and committed.

But I've been slacking.

I've stopped meditating, and working out. I'm studying more, but somehow the good grades elude my grasp. I read one of those simple but helpful teenage books about how to get through it. And I think I realize that the real way to be happy is to find a balance, the balance between school, athleticism, social, and soul lives. The balance of all of these and the juggling act that results makes for a better balanced person.

However, the slightest variation, and you might find yourself picking up the broken pieces of your old self. I guess I'm just riding the waves as they come. I need to start making the waves happen.


can be found anywhere. This idea was brought to the front of my mind yesterday, and I just now realized what it meant. So what does it mean? It means that no matter how old, tall, strong, smart, wise someone is, they can teach you something. Therefore they are a teacher to you. For example, most of you may have read over some of my posts and thought, this kid is so(synonym of stupid here) and maybe you can't learn anything new from me. Or from any of your other teachers, but you have to give people a chance, because

Those who don't seek answers will never find them.
Obviously I'm not telling you to go up to a stranger and ask for the meaning of the universe, but we could all learn something, if even a small thing from someone new.

My own experience recently actually occurred yesterday, in REC (Religious Education Center, where we Ismailis go to learn about our religion) my mom was talking about the possibility of introducing calligraphy into the course. My mom is my teacher. The class is for 8th-9th graders and the young woman thats will be teaching us calligraphy is 10 years old. You can imagine the reaction from the class when my mom added that the teacher would like to be called Ms.

Because as dignified teenagers we are above the idea of learning something from someone younger than us. It is ridiculous how people in general allow their EGO to run their life. People need to take control. I don't really understand what an ego is on first glance. So I did some thinking, and my personal definition of ego is a monster deep inside your brain made of all the insecurities, anger, and resentment mushed together. This monster is not very aesthetically appealing so it acts as a gamer, it doesn't care who or what it hurts, offends, or destroys, because at the end of the day. We have to pick up the pieces and start all over again.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

I came upon a beautiful thing

a couple days ago. I found this new hangout spot. A tree and a lake make for some awesome alone time. My tree is about 30 feet high, and last time I climbed it I got about 20 feet up. I like listening to music and looking out across the reflective water. I love the feeling of looking up and seeing nature. I amuse myself by thinking how I would be the only person to EVER see the view. It's a nice concept. Thinking you're worth something. Thinking you have something no-one else does. But at the end of the day, what REALLY makes you special? Our choices:

A- Your new jeans

B-Your spiritual awareness

C- Your looks


The answer: D. What makes you stand out from the thousands of other people just in the 50 miles surrounding you? WOW! You can do a cool trick on a skateboard. Guess what! Theres a kid across the street who could do that a year ago. You take really good care of your hair. Great. So do the other popular kids in your school. You work out. So do other people.

What makes you different?

What's the point of living if you aren't able to stand out?
There's no point in trying to stand out to the random people you don't know.

This may not make sense to you. Because I've done a really crappy job of explaining what I'm really trying to say.
Just disregard this.
The only reason I'm not deleting this is because I put minor thought into it.


If you were about to let that ruin your day. We've got some serious problems.

I honestly don't understand how teenagers, and people in general can be so emotionally reliant or dependent on the crowd. Why does a strangers opinion of you matter more then yours? Because somehow we've managed to let the shallow opinions of strangers determine your own self worth.
People don't matter.


Wednesday, February 15, 2012


 Based on your knowledge of monks and monasteries, write two paragraphs explaining why you might want to become a monk, or why not. If you would not want to be a monk, then you  must explain why someone else might find it worthwhile.  What challenges would you face?  What rewards would you expect? Please double-space and type in normal font.  
This is due tomorrow.
Have a great night!
(Teachers name)

If I was to conceive of abandoning my life and joining a monastery today. I would consider the obvious things as obstacles. I would miss my friends, family, and life far too much to leave. Also I do one day in the very distant future have a general idea of becoming a surgeon and living with my wife and children. However, if I was to consider the thought of leaving home to become a monk seriously, I would have to weigh the pros and cons. The pros: I would most likely achieve spiritual enlightenment, and since I do believe in God and the concept of lessons and experiences "carrying over" from life to life. In the long run, it would be a better decision. However, an immediate counter to this would be, that meditation and prayer could get one to the same place as being a monk would. Furthermore, as is taught in Islam, spiritual and material pursuits are equally important. Actually I think I would be open to the idea, however, simply the giving up of a mate, putting aside the material gains that would be lost, would be enough for me to seriously doubt ever becoming a Monk or Priest of any kind.

If I were to make the decision during the middle ages however, I would take into account my life situation. If I was a noble, the choice would obviously be no. I would be living a life of wealth and power. There would be no reason to go. If I was a peasant, my answer would still vary. If I had children or a wife, then I would have too many obligations, and living a spiritual life after abandoning a young child and defenseless woman to the horrors of the world would be unspeakable in my terms. However, if I was a homosexual, or had no family, then the idea of having a child would not apply and a more satisfying life would result from the pursuit of God.

*Note I indented in the homework*

Sunday, February 12, 2012

We've all heard

of the concept that we are all connected. Somehow. And subconsciously I've begun to fathom this concept. But to understand this concept we have to understand what it is that connects us. So what is there that could possibly span the entire world. Connecting all of us. Making a bond with our fellow man. This force is simple because it has already been given a name. 

God, Allah, Adonai, Krishna, Vishnu, whatever you call him, or her, or it, connects us. I've been trying to put logic into this as much as possible. So I'd like you to go out on a limb and assume that god is ever present. Omnipotent, invincible, and always there. The lessons we learn are selected by Allah. The people we meet or don't are brought or not brought into our lives by Adonai. Now that you have this concept in your head. Imagine yourself or any person, trying to tend to every life equally, and being ever present, to love all people animals, beetles, creatures equally.

How can we attach human traits to a divine entity. The IT that makes our lives worth living. 
IT is not human. I've stopped imagining talking to god as talking to a person. I imagine Krishna as an all encompassing yellow light.

 A warm presence.
Some people see god as a young boy. 

An angel.

A man
Some as an old man. Some as a word. Some as a spaghetti monster. Some see god in a person. 
So I ask myself. If god is ever present, then wouldn't he be within each of us. Then wouldn't each of us be god? My concepts of Adonai are vaguely drawn from Islamic beliefs. There was a Metaphor of a water droplet named Tipu.

This droplet was realizing that he was not where he needed to be. So he asked a wise water droplet where he could find the Ocean (representing god in the story, as the ever present vast entity.) The wise water droplet told him to search upward. And as anyone who has studied the water cycle knows. When Tipu went to the surface of his home, he was taken up and evaporated. When he fell from the sky he found himself in a jungle. He wandered around and in his wandering he became intoxicated in the beauty of the world, however, Tipu found a wise turtle, he asked to go to the ocean, and through the guidance of one wise turtle (the prophet, Imam, Pope, Minister, Rabbi, etc.)he was (the prophet, Imam, Pope, Minister, Rabbi, etc.) led to a river (meditation, spiritual practice) and Tipu flowed down the river. So happy to be on his way to the Ocean FINALLY! The apprehension was building in Tipu. He could hardly wait to be with the Ocean. The river lead to a waterfall, and the waterfall led to another river. (The long path of self discovery, self realization, and overall zen-ness) Later he found himself in his home again. Tipu was confused. The river was too far behind to ask, so he went to the bottom of the ocean to the home of the wise droplet and told him of his journey, the water droplet chuckled and said "child, this is the ocean"Tipu realized that he was with his Ocean the whole time! He reasoned that he was a part of the ocean, therefore he was the ocean, and if the ocean is god, and Tipu represents a person. Then each person is god.
Is the universe starting to make sense yet?
I'm guessing not because the concept of god isn't exactly the easiest to grasp, but with a little contemplation, it makes a little sense. One concept to know:

It's okay to not get it.
God would've made this world too easy if you could get everything on the first try.
So god connects all of us it's the common denominator. So god really does connect us!

Prayer is the concept of committing time to god. Whether it is to ask for things, thank him for things. Or just to talk, unload and unwind. Make no mistake. It is possible, even encouraged, to have a personal relationship with this manifestation of yourself called god. But if prayer is the talking to god. Then how do we listen? We could meditate, which is a great idea. We could thank god daily for things that work out for us and that don't. For example, I've been meaning to talk to this girl that I have a crush on (I know its all mushy and stuff) and ask her about some stuff. Bottom line I haven't, and I was at this party yesterday. We'll skip to the end -> I was encouraged by a crowd to have a normal conversation. It clicked because later that day. I had written a letter to myself telling myself to just do it. So I thanked god

Sometimes I have this feeling in my chest like a sea of heavenly light. Like god is present, I've learnt to let it go and give it to people. So when I was in India. And I would see someone who desperately needed help. I'd make my mom give money, but then I would silently say a prayer, give some light, and move on.

God gives us faith. So we have hope for a better world, for an order in the world. Hope for those people who are in a hole with no light. Hope for people who are so close to digging their way out. A new view of the world. A broader spectrum of light. So whenever something you've asked for comes into fruition. Say thank you to the warm yellow light.

Thanks to
The giant spaghetti monster
The light

Friday, February 3, 2012

Super pissed.

I feel stifled. As a teenager, I feel entitled to talk to my friends through my phone for at least 20 minutes a day. Mom took that away. I feel entitled to free access to music. Mom took that away. I feel entitled to use my phone at least as an alarm clock to wake up at 5 am so I can meditate. Mom took that away. I feel entitled to use art as an outlet for the resulting anger on Saturday night in our classroom. Guess what!! Not gonna happen. I feel like I would like to punch a wall in. Not gonna happen. So what do we do? What is to happen when you are completely cut off from the world. Trapped in your house when the closest thing to someone your age is your 10 year old brother, who has his phone and free access to music. When you live with CRAZY ALPHA FEMALES. When no-one sees the world the way you do? What do you do when your friends, your music, your zen-ness are all taken away?

You dance.
For the small amount of time I get to myself on Friday nights I shower, get out, and dance. TO MUSIC. Ha. What kinda dances do you do hormonal teenager? I make up dances. I daydream about October when I'll be onstage in front of 200 people dancing my little heart out. I think of dance moves, I make dumb videos. I bore myself to tears. Then I ask myself why I'm doing it, and this anger bigger then I am rises up out of my chest and I suppress the urge to murder my pillow and kill its children. I suppress the urge to cry. I suppress the urge to put my head, fist, foot, mothers head through a wall. So I dance some more. Then I get to a point when I can suppress the anger, and I blog.

More later.